A ship once it has tasted the sea, returns to shore, trembles and longs to return to the sea , but unfortunately it is held back by the weight of anchor so it longs for freedom , remembers the carelessness, the anticipation and the mixed feeling of fear and joy. It remembers that there was a time when it wanted to loose its old self and be a part of the sea.
Once the anchor is lifted it again sails for the sea and then without any expectations it just flows into the lap of sea. It does not care if the sea embraces it or forgets it. The ship does not want to irritate the sea by again and again trying to tell the sea how much it wants to be one with the sea. Now it does not have any burden of its own wishes, it just waits for the sea to come to it.
When the sea comes calling it just accepts and rejoices its fate.
Once I felt just like this ship. Even though longing to become free , the weight of anchor was holding back. Then after much efforts this anchor was lifted when I wrote back what I felt should have been said much earlier. Then it was like I was liberated. It was not for me to worry what would happen next. It was not for me to care about if I would sink or float. And finally when I received back a reply I was rejoiced the fact that the effort to lift the anchor was more than worth , even for whatever small measures of happiness it gave me. Now it is just sailing in the sea winds for me. Maybe sometimes there will be storms and winds. There will be times when I would thing what made me do all this silly stuff. But I will finally say that yes I sailed into uncharted waters for the first times and going to a new destination was the aim.
Whatever may happen next is immaterial. There were no expectation at the beginning nor do I have any now, nor I hope will be there in the future.